Johnny asked to Sam what they will do that night.
Sam said “we will flip a coin”
Then Johnny said “If it comes head, we will go for movies. If tails, we will play cards, if it stands on edge, we will study”!

Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!

Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?
Johnny: Sun
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.

Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "u will go to jail"!

One day teacher asked Sam that did his father help him with his homework.
Sam simply said that “No, he did it all by himself”!

Little Sam (on phone): My son is having high fever and he won’t be able to come to school today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Little Sam: This is my father speaking!

Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!

Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!

Which is the place pencils like to go for a vacation?
Pencil – vania!

Why did the computer consult with the doctor?
Because it was suffering from a virus!

What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
Your name!

Which is the flower on face?
Tu – lips!

Which is the way chosen by crazy people?
The psycho path!

Can you name a bear with no socks?
A bare-foot!

Can a leopard hide anywhere?
No, he is always spotted!

How can you make a golden soup?
Just add 24 carrots to the soup!

What kind of a star can be risky?
A shooting star!

How do the prisoners communicate with each other?
Through cell phones!

In which bank Dracula like to save money?
In a blood bank!

What type of waves are there in small beaches?
Microwaves!

Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!

During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
Husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”.!

One day a software engineer drowned at the sea. There are many people on the beach and they heard him crying out. But no one understood what he was trying to say. Can you guess what he was trying to say? “F1, F1”!

Customer called to Tech support: “my computer is not connecting to Internet”
Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are you using?”
Customer: “Internet explorer”!
Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu”
Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”!